29 August 2006

Caprice Who Indeed?! (and who cares?)

Particularly unimpressed by Richard Madeley this week tearing into some poor plod for doing his job (doing it well actually) in securing a conviction against Caprice. For anyone else who isn't familiar with the name, she is, or was a model. She considers herself far too important to have a surname so, when asked to "step out of the car" having been stopped for a faulty fog-light and found to be reeking of booze, she gave her name only as Caprice only to have the copper reply - not unreasonably - Caprice Who? Wouldn't be the first time I've asked someone's name and had to eak it out of them, syllable by syllable, so this probably would have been my first reaction too.

[Personally, I've only heard of her because of Jonathan Ross's fast-food advert of a few years ago where he goes on at length about someone he calls "Capweece". He seemed to like her, at least in the advert but then I gather he was paid to say this!]

Madeley's article went on about how it was impossible for any police officer (as we're all white straight lusty males, presumably) not to have instantly recognised this stupid drink-driver, with a chorus of "phwoars", then slagged him off for describing her - slightly unflatteringly - in his evidence as "scrawny" and having a large acne spot on her cheek, amongst other things. Far from being churlish, this was probably just an accurate description. Even sticking someone on for a seat-belt offence I would always describe them and any prominent features; it closes down the bull-poo "it wasn't me Guv" defence before it even begins and doesn't take more than a line or two. The final thrust of this rapier-like wah-fest came as the officer's name was Flashman and that he is obviously therefore a cad as he shares his name with a caddish fictional character from literature. Hmm, must be true then. (I share a last name with a v good Premiership footballer so I look forward to acquiring my enhanced ball-skills any day now!)

Could Madeley's cynicism be related to his bitterness over his 1990 arrest for shoplifting? He was acquitted at court but still clearly harbours some bitterness about being treated like anyone else who's "accidentally" removed items from a shop without paying and wanted special treatment himself. Now he's apparently a champion of the Z-list, taking up the cause of people who'd like to get off with being naughty by being even peripherally famous. Well every 'celebrity' needs a cause. Pity he's chosen such an unattractive one. Still, a step up from his referring to "dykes" on his TV show. Classy bloke, our Madeley. Judy love, you could do so much better.

Funnily enough, Caprice's web-site doesn't have anything about her recent attempts to wriggle out of justice. Pour scorn at: I'm pathetic so love me if you really must.

Mail article on:
Fascist Rag

I don't normally read the Daily Hate, honest, it was open at this article in the nick and I happened to see it. [[blushing deeply]]

7 Comments:

Blogger kris said...

Richard Dear,

Everytime we start to think that you aren't so stupid after all- you ruin it by opening your trap.

30 August, 2006 09:59  
Blogger kris said...

So who is Tommy Adkins?

Kipling explains: -

WENT into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it’s "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,—
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.
I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,—
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,—
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.
We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,—
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there’s trouble in the wind.
You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool—you bet that Tommy sees!

Rudyard Kipling

30 August, 2006 10:08  
Anonymous Joe Public said...

Course if she'd have knocked down a kid, the Police would have been slatted for not doing anything to combat drink driving, she'd blub for a bit and then get a book contract.

29 September, 2006 12:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least it was a 'Guilty' for once with her celebrity solicitor (forgotten his name), who would normally get the celebrities off their little driving convictions.

03 November, 2006 23:16  
Blogger PC South West said...

What a pratt Medeley is!!
Does he expect celebs to be treated different to anyone else? I think he should shut his trap and let someone who knows what they are talking about do their job.

10 December, 2006 10:27  
Blogger Muốn đặt tên ngắn nhưng nghĩ mãi không ra! said...

Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind...
Buying Gold CoinsHID bulbs

23 November, 2011 05:45  
Blogger hoang said...

Greek MPs debate an unpopular austerity bill crucial for a 130bn euro bailout, as police use tear gas against angry protesters outside parliament.

12 February, 2012 18:42  

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My views are my own and would probably not endear me to my dear employers.